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there are a few people I would dedicate this to, if I had the courage... - there's a song that's inside of my soul [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
sayonara_de

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there are a few people I would dedicate this to, if I had the courage... [Jan. 14th, 2006|08:08 pm]
sayonara_de
If there were one thing
I could tell you without being shut out again, I would say
I loved you—

you wouldn’t
believe me, I know you’d think
I was just throwing words around again—
you’d say I was going back to my old ways, maybe to protect yourself,
maybe because it’s true,

but I’d say
it doesn’t matter. I’d close my eyes and take your tongue-lashing
because I deserve it, anyway.

Don’t deny it,
I’m your masterpiece, you should
put me on display— exhibit one: betrayed
friend, condemned by jealous words and political jargon which you
don’t understand anyway—

I sit silent and
let you weave a net of hatred around my susceptible heart,
my foolish heart,

a heart which
once loved unquestioningly,
which now sits like stone in the depths of silence,
a piece of myself you killed with the cold shoulder you
thrust in my face.

You are poison,
you poisoned my once-friends against me, you want to poison me
so I am no longer strong.

You pretend
I don’t exist, that I don’t matter—
if I told you this, you’d fly into quick denials,
making you the one throwing words around, making them into daggers,
slamming them into my back,

all though
the wounds have healed. They don’t hurt any more, but they remain—your words
are the ones leaving scars,
not mine.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: every_desperado
2006-01-18 01:40 am (UTC)
As usual, your writing leaves me extremly impressed/touched/something like that.

I hope you aren't as sad as you sound, though. =/
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sayonara_de
2006-01-19 02:56 am (UTC)
I was. I'm not anymore. ^^ I'm happy you like what I write!! It really means a lot. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)